Hello parenthood aspirant,
As I write this text, I am a 44 year old woman. I live in a country where, like Denmark, excellent medical reproductive services are provided. I recently became a VITANOVA patient.
I always wanted to be a mother, to raise children, but I only met a man willing to have children very late in my reproductive years. I knew my hormone levels and follicle counts were not extremely promising, but they were not hopeless and I am in good health and my partner seemed to have very good sperm. So we tried…
We seeked medical help at a reproductive center (within an hospital) with a good reputation. Even though women aged 43 are not viewed favorably in my country, the center’s chief accepted to help us. A few weeks after this first appointment, I had a “spontaneous” pregnancy (I was 42 years old and my partner was then 44), which ended in a miscarriage (8 weeks pregnancy). This miscarriage was quite horrible, but at least I knew I could get pregnant.
We then proceeded with some reproductive procedures. Soon after my 43rd birthday, we tried a stimulation protocol in IVF, but my ovarian response was quite poor. So our fertility doctor advised to try with IUI with stimulation from now on. We got a prescription for 3 IUI.
I became pregnant thanks to the first IUI (using frozen straws of my partner, provided when he was 44 years old), but had a miscarriage after 5 weeks. The second and third IUI (still with frozen straws of the same origin) did not lead to pregnancy. During the third insemination, the doctor who performed it (a woman who was my “junior” fertility doctor) treated me very poorly and let me know that at my age I wasn’t welcome as a patient. A very bad experience and a very ugly souvenir for me…
Soon after, my relationship with my partner ended. Before meeting him, I had quite some time to think to plan B in relation to motherhood. I knew adoption is practically out of the question for single people. I already knew that Denmark, has excellent reproductive centers which are open to the challenge of women over 40/43 and its sperm banks with both anonymous and open donors were the solution for me.
I immediately began to search for an open Danish donor with some common features with my own family (I have scandinavian origins) and for a good Danish reproductive center who could help me as soon as possible. Time was of the essence and as long as I had the strength and the courage to go on, I would and I would do it fully.
After some researching, I came across VITANOVA. They said they could help me very quickly. Also, one of the midwives, who was very available and reactive, was able to understand, speak and write in my native language, which is a big plus. Therefore, I opted for VINATOVA.
As instructed by the midwife, I had a new STD check, my reproductive hormones re-tested and a new follicle count scan performed in my own country.
After consulting with one of the clinic’s in-house reproductive doctors, my midwife advised me through a one hour phone consultation to go on with IUIs. We decided to maintain the exact same stimulation protocol as I followed before, since I had some (very expensive) medicine left, at least for the first IUI with them. She also provided some health advice. Then I found a very nice and very competent fertility doctor in my home country to help locally (scans of the ovaries and uterus, etc).
Eventually, after about 10 days of hormone injections, VITANOVA’s doctor decided for the go. I then proceeded to book flights and an hotel in Copenhagen near the clinic for the night before the IUI, in order to be absolutely sure to be able to get there for my appointment on the day at noon.
On the day of the IUI, I visited the clinic for the first time. The premises of the clinic are very pleasant and cosy and everyone with whom I interacted was very polite, nice and positive. I met with a midwife who proceeded with the IUI, after the in-house lab had washed a frozen sperm straw that had been delivered by the sperm bank a few days before. She behaved very kindly and let me rest in the lovely IUI room for almost an hour after she put on some lounge music.
It was a very welcome change from what I was used to before. Welcoming and positive vibes from the premises and all the people. That’s what a woman desperate to conceive wants and needs. Maybe it helped for the IUI to be a success?! I got pregnant through this attempt.
At the time of my IUI with VITANOVA, my FSH was a bit too high at 13 UI/L, my AMH was very low at about 0.12 μg/L and my follicles count showed 6 follicles of the proper size (all those were established about a month before the IUI). After two miscarriages and several failed reproductive procedures, I was still determined to try. I don’t think anyone should try to have a baby at any cost, especially for their physical and mental wellbeing, but I still had the determination and the physical and mental strength to go on. I must say that I have had some regrets about not going through with a “Danish” pregnancy in my late 30s, even though I was single at that time. But I did not let those thoughts and my “so-so” hormonal tests drag me down and I moved forward as long as there was hope.
At the time my former partner and I decided to start to make better efforts to make a baby, a fertility doctor I consulted told me that I could probably never get pregnant, let alone actually deliver my own biological baby. It was exactly two years before my IUI at VITANOVA (my FSH was then at 8/9 and my AMH at 1.1 !). I am very glad I did not listen to that doctor.
Now, I am two and half months pregnant with a very much alive, with a perfect growth, fetus, who has just been cleared of high risks of trisomy 21, 18 and 13 through a thorough scan and a blood test. If all still goes well, which, fingers crossed, it should at this stage, I will deliver my first child at 44 years old.
I am very happy with my choice of fertility clinic: I am very appreciative and grateful of the medical expertise and the caring nature displayed by the various professionals who were involved in my case at VITANOVA.
Be it as a couple or a single woman, it’s not easy and nice to have strangers enter your reproductive life and your own physical intimacy. It is particularly hard for women who undergo hormonal stimulation. I have the impression that people at VITANOVA have that in mind. There, you get good reproductive expertise and you get treated with the respect, politeness and warmth you deserve. They made the somewhat strange conception of my child-to-be a nice souvenir.
I hope my English was clear enough and that sharing my experience and own feelings in general and regarding VITANOVA can be of some help or comfort.
I wish you the best of luck. Let me as well give some advice: be kind to yourself and be patient.
Women tend to feel guilty after failing at attempts to get pregnant and I think it’s a pity.